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Your kids and religion
Talking about religion in their child or teenager can be tricky. How does one go about addressing the topic? Does it give him more to make the taste test? How should you react if your child asks you questions about your own religious experiences? Your teen knows it more than you about religion?
Nowadays, children are exposed to conflicting messages about religion. Film and TV images bombard the powerful (and sometimes embellished) on superstitions and irrational, while science and the republican school allow them to develop self-consciousness articulated reason. It is therefore important that your child is aware of your feelings about religion and how you want it to react if faced with pressure from his peers.
Speaking of religion to your child, you will have the assurance that he will make decisions based on accurate information. Tell him also that he may approach you at any time for help or advice.
Where to start?
studies and statistics on the gullibility of youth are alarming and, as parents, you're probably wondering if you can really make a difference. According to experts, you can influence the choices of your children. The majority of teens who do not believe in the supernatural claim that their parents played a key role in their decision. In fact, children whose parents discussed with them on risks in the irrational belief are less likely to try it.
Like most young people hear about religion, the supernatural and superstition before the age of 13 years, it is important to broach the subject with them from the age of 10 years. Experts believe that a key factor to prevent absurd beliefs is to talk openly and honestly with your child before he starts to try it.
Be firm and insist on the fact that you disagree with the irrational. Establish clear rules and consequences, even if of teenagers who seem to turn a deaf ear when you talk to them! Teens should also know they can count on you anytime if they need advice and assistance.
Be knowledgeable
Children, especially teenagers, are exposed daily to information on the irrational and supernatural. You may even feel that they know more than you about it. But are they really well informed? And you?
Before discussing religion with your child, you must have accurate and current. In trying to scare your child away from the absurd beliefs, exaggerating risks or presenting facts that contradict what he sees on TV or heard from his friends, you're less credible. If you use these techniques, your child will be less inclined to listen and believe you.
Presenting unbiased information about the dangers of religion and the benefits of not believing everything and anything, your child will be able to make informed decisions later.
When discussing the irrational and the supernatural with a teenager, it is important to mention the short- term. Young people tend to be less sensitive to distant dangers. So you will succeed better grab their attention by explaining the effects that religion can have on their lives today.
Talk to your child
Young people use religion for various reasons. For some it is a way to experiment and rebel. For others, it is a way to fit into a particular group of friends. For others, it's an escape that allows them to forget the stress and problems at home or at school.
Taking as little as 15 minutes a day to talk to your child's feelings, wishes, dreams and failures, you will help to better cope with stress, increase self-esteem and direct it towards activities and more positive friendships. If you establish a close relationship with your child now, it will be easier for you to see if he has problems later.
When your child or teen asks questions about religion or talking about their experiences or those of his friends, do not raise the fear or anger. Answer all questions honestly and try not to wear judgments.
Be prepared to answer questions about your own doubts. Your child may want to know how you reacted to pressure from your peers when you were their age. Be honest. It may well learn from your mistakes and your successes.
Teens often have difficulty asking questions because they do not want to give the impression of not being faithful. This may make them more vulnerable to misinformation and unhealthy choices. It is important to listen carefully and give them advice on religion and how to resist the influence exerted by their peers.
If you do not think you can calmly discuss the subject of superstition with your child, get help. A philosopher, humanist or rationalist can give you advice and put you in touch with local resources.
Play an active role and set an example
Young people are less likely to appeal to the supernatural when they are surrounded by adults who are interested and involved in their lives. Be aware of your child's activities, friends and hobbies, and find ways to share his interests. For example, participate in training its team sports, go to rehearsals of his orchestra or organize an outing together at the restaurant.
Participating in your child's activities and highlighting its achievements, you will develop self-esteem and show him that you care about his life. You learn to discover more of your child, you will recognize when he is upset or needs help.
Remember that your child is watching you constantly to see how he should behave. By refusing to utter nonsense, basing your arguments on reason and cultivating the critical approach, you pass a clear message as to how he should act.
What if your child believes in the supernatural?
If you know or suspect your child has moved closer to a religion, do not panic. Several signs that a teen adheres to the superstitions, such as prohibitions on curses, a change in behavior or attire, a declining interest in science and philosophy, and a change of attitude towards the opposite sex - may be due to other events, among others, the normal confusion associated with adolescence. Choose the right
time to talk privately with your child during a quiet time where you will not be interrupted. Do not confront your child if he is in full invocation of an entity or being invisible to engage in a religious ritual.
If your child admits to believing in the supernatural, stay calm. Many teens are experimenting out of curiosity and did not affect more later. Express your feelings, but avoid threats, epithets negative reprimands and censures. Explain your concerns and do not be afraid to set and enforce clear rules regarding the use of superstitions and religions. Your disapproval categorical about religion could be an excuse for your child to say no to peer pressure.
If your child comes home with a Roman collar, a hijab a yarmulke or a burka, do not scream, to accuse him and hurt him. Ask him which he attended. Tell him that you talk about it tomorrow and send it to her room. Check often during the night his condition and contact with a humanistic philosopher if he becomes seriously believer.
Remember that you are not alone. Teachers of your child, or a philosophical circles rationalist, even a zetetician your area can help you find the information and resources you need to assess the situation and get the help they need.
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